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Engagement | Tuesday, 28th July 2015

The Perfect Guide to Killing off Engagement

Written by Julia Farrugia

Engagement – a fabulous concept which has the digital world going mad in an attempt to constantly have high interaction over meaningful content. It has been the cause of many debates over what type of marketing is best – be it push, pull, or whatever the latest trend is.

But honestly the truth is – who needs engagement right? Who needs people interacting with their brand… as long as they buy your products that’s all that matters. Working to improve your engagement is quite simply a complete waste of time, money, and resources.

So please follow these steps and eliminate yourself of all engagement.

1. Anti-social Media

Your social media accounts aren’t there to engage in discussions with your audience. They’re there as a billboard – a glorified advertising space really. Ignore any comments you receive – unless they’re asking about prices of course.

2. Many platforms, same tactics

Automate everything. Link your Facebook to your Twitter and your Instagram to your Twitter and Facebook. Ensure there’s an infinite cycle of linking so that you only ever have to write a post once. Don’t bother trying to adapt the post to suit different target audiences – it’s a waste of time.

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3. The customer is never right

Customer care? More like a complete and utter waste of time. This is your business, don’t let anyone complain about it or make you look bad. Just ignore any negativity – they’re just hating on you because you’re successful.

4. Be random

Everyone loves random! Don’t bother sticking to a consistent pattern – that’s just boring. Post whenever you want and use different styles of posting be it 3am, 2pm, or on the 30th of February. Keep your audience on their toes and keep them guessing – everyone loves surprises after all.

5. Take a break

Everyone once in a while it’s good to go into hibernation. This allows people to forget about you and then you can come back with a big bang! So allow yourself the pleasure of abandoning your social media accounts for a while – your audience won’t really mind.

6. Blogs are a waste of time

This one’s pretty self explanatory. A blog isn’t going to sell any products – so get rid of it.

7. It’s all about the ads

Everything is advertising space waiting to be filled – your cover image, your profile picture, social media posts, google ads… the list goes on – which is great. Get everyone’s attention with mind numbingly cliche adverts- these will definitely reel in the sales.

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8. The thing about video

They’re saying it’s the year of the video – but honestly, that’s not really true. Sure people like to watch videos… but you don’t need to change your marketing strategies because of them. Who cares about them? You’ve got your own business and you’re golden!

9. Visuals

Yeah… no. You don’t actually need these. Text is just fine – in fact the longer and chunkier the paragraph, the better it is.

10. The opposite of random

We understand that you might not want to go all out random – it’s hard to be so diverse. So another option is to be extremely consistent. Be sure to post at the exact same time every day of the week without fail. Use similar posting styles – just create a template which you can amend here and there- and also be sure to keep the excitement levels in your tone of voice to a minimum – just give the facts and that’s all… emotions don’t sell products.

 

So there you have it. We know it can be a bit tricky at first, but we’re here to help you out. The sooner you kill off your engagement the sooner you’ll be seeing big changes to your company’s portfolio.

Get in touch today to find out more about how to do this – next up we’ll be discussing why responsive websites are a complete scam to rob you of your money.

Disclaimer: We are of course joking. Engagement will always be an essential aspect to digital marketing – so please don’t kill it off.

  • LOL Ju! 🙂

  • Elaine Muscat

    Haha love this post! You’ll be surprised how many companies still abide by some of these points 🙁

  • Julia Farrugia

    Glad you got a laugh out of this!

  • Julia Farrugia

    Yup – some of these things sadly aren’t too far fetched!

Julia Farrugia

a little more about

Julia Farrugia,

Online strategist by day, environmental activist by night, Julia is the youngest member in the team. When she’s not curating, editing, or writing content she’s scheduling and planning. Her highlighters are her friends and she’s constantly taping to-do lists to the wall.